café theology

It was Christmas Day at my old parish. At the end of mass, parishioners found it difficult to pray as a gentleman’s 2-year old son ran amok. It was then that a prominent parishioner approached the man and asked him to control his child. The man indignantly refused, exacerbating the situation, and thus causing the prominent parishioner to respond by loudly chastising him in front of the sanctuary. In the midst of the melee, another parishioner, a young woman, approached the the distinguished parishioner. The young woman, somewhat annoyed at this point, asked the distinguished parishioner to move her chastisement outside the church. Shortly before this happened, an unknown person remarked of the child “Two-year olds cannot control themselves.” The distinguished parishioner, assuming the young woman made the remark, replied by harshly and loudly telling the young woman “You’re what’s wrong with the Church. You’re a fool.” To which the young woman replied “If I’m a fool for asking you to respect that Christ is right there–gesturing to the tabernacle–then God bless you and Merry Christmas.” The young woman left the Church visibly upset at the insult blindly hurled her way.

This situation offers several lessons for all of us as Christians. The first lesson is the importance of prudence. Was the child’s behavior disruptive to other parishioners? Yes. Was the child’s father wrong in his unwillingness to discipline his child? Yes. However, prudence dictates that one not create a bigger scene than the one he is trying to end. The distinguished parishioner showed a severe lack of prudence in berating the father and creating more noise and disruption than that created by the unruly 2-year old. The prudent choice would have been to do what the young woman asked the distinguished parishioners to do and take up a reasoned and civilized discourse outside the Church.

The second lesson is one of charity. Sometimes, harshness can be the greatest charity. However, the distinguished parishioner proved most uncharitable in three regards. First, she berated a man without attempting to understand his predicament. She made a rash judgment of his character without exploring mitigating circumstances. After all, we are all fallible and have bad days. Second, she showed an inexcusable lack of charity toward the young woman in telling the young woman “You are what’s wrong with the Church. You’re a fool.” What entitles the distinguished parishioner to make such a bold and foolish judgment of the young woman? Her friendship with the pastor? Her piety? The Apostle Paul told us not to judge before the day of the Lord. If the distinguished parishioner knew the young woman as I do, she would have known that the young woman is the opposite of what she declared her to be. The young woman is everything that is right with the Church. Third, the distinguished parishioner showed an overall lack of charity by setting a bad example in front of our Lord in the tabernacle. The parish where the incident occurred is frequented by many visitors who travel to hear the pastor preach the Word of God. I would not blame any of them for leaving the parish and thinking to themselves “What a bunch of self-righteous bastards.” And that truly embarrasses me.

The mass is a time of contemplation of the mysteries of Christ and appropriate reverence is necessary within the parish walls to enable that contemplation. However, we must exercise virtue to creating and maintaining that reverence.

Nicholas