May

17

I Do Not Want To Read Your Bum

Posted By Elizabeth Andrew | Filed Under Elizabeth Andrew 

Elizabeth Andrew

So I have this thing about pants that have words on the backside.

I first saw this sort of pant while at the gym in college. I walked in, looked to my left and there was this girl with pants on that had the initials “UNH” on the bum.

The girl was on the stairmaster and there her backside went, up and down, up and down.

“UNH, UNH.”

Right then and there I thought, “Whoa, I could get pants that say, “Pro-Life.” One syllable on each “side.” Then I could get on the stairmaster and evangelize via my bum.

That was several years ago.

The trend has spiraled on and it’s no longer college girls wearing words on their bums. It’s children. Children now have all sorts of words on their bums and I just don’t like it. What is next, babies with words on the backside of their onesies?

(Of note, I’ve never seen men with words on their bums.)

So apparently, ladies, our bums are now billboards.

For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why people had the word “PINK” on their bums. After a bit of research, it turns out that “PINK” is a fashion label and truly, when you wear their pants, you are advertizing for them on your bum.

Why does this bother me? I mean, we’ve been wearing words across our chest for quite sometime. I grew up with that norm, maybe I’m innoculated to it.

I’ve discovered in my own amateur search for the “rules of modesty” that the “rules” are either so abstract that you have no idea where to even begin, or so rigid that you think “there’s no way I’m going to live this.”

In between the open-ended “no rules at all” and the no-room for your own judgement “bring a ruler to measure the length of your skirts” guidelines, there needs to be some common sense.

Yes. I’m pretty sure that modesty, as it relates to clothing, can be discovered by using good ol’ common sense.

As for myself, common sense tells me not to have a word (or a sound, “grrrr” shouldn’t be on your bum either) on your bum.

The moral of the story is: Don’t reject the notion of modesty or any inkling of desire to explore modesty just because the world is perpetually trying to figure out what “modesty” means for our culture and time.

Instead, look in the mirror and just be honest with yourself. You are a wonderful creation of God. And your bum is not a billboard.

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